What the world needs us to be

It used to be

How I imagined heaven

Pure light

Perfection of it all, even in me

There was nothing I couldn’t be

And I got lost kept trying to climb higher

Kept trying to get closer to that light, like an endless ladder

I did whatever I needed to do to soldier on

Because I told myself “time is on my side”

All I did was I just got further and further away

And then years go by

And you understand that the next year will not be much different

This feeling will never go away because there is no getting over it

There is no getting to the other side

I do carry on

There are many days when I do not really know why

Some days are bearable

Today is very hard

When I look at myself 

All I see is questions 

It is not about why die

It is about why continue to live

I cannot think of a single reason

I guess I am just not loveable

I see people laughing and smiling

And I cannot feel a life in me

It is a pretty humbling feeling

When you realize you have nowhere to go

Talking to you 

May be a comfort to my soul